Saturday, April 18, 2009


I felt... well... angsty all week.

I realize that's not a word, but nervous just isn't right.... Uneasiness makes it sound benign and passive.

This wasn't passive. I felt gnawed upon... no, that's gross. I felt haunted. Yes, haunted. I kept trying to track down the source. I felt for a while that it was my preoccupation with fruitless political arguments on Facebook, but when I put a stop to the ineffective ranting, the angst remained.

I thought maybe it was this churning, evolving "Rewrite Part 2," the prep for which has consumed most of my evenings this week. But I'm actually fairly excited for this rewrite... even recreating the lost bits. I identify with my characters now in a way that I didn't know was possible 6 months ago. This will be an adventure, just as soon as my new version of Microsoft arrives (I just can't get into google docs).

So what is it?

As it turns out, "IT" - my angst... the gnawing... the haunting... It was a new character. A whole new story. I sat down to journal about my discontent, as any good aspiring writer or overemotional teenager might do, and instead of a smattering of observations and contemplations, I poured out a scene.

The next scene is already taking shape. The whole project (whatever it might be) is vying for the title "Upturned Stones," though I had planned on saving that for different project. For now, as the main character whirs around the clutter of my mind, gathering her identity, I think I'll continue to call it "Upturned Stones." At least for the moment.

Two projects at once, with essentially no free time? Yeah, that is nuts. But it is better than the angst. The angst is gone... let the new project begin!


Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

Wow, I have felt like this before! Angst is a great term for it, too. My characters often make me feel uncomfortable, especially when I don't realize it's them.

I like your title "Upturned Stones". That implies a lot. What genre do you write?

I'm glad I stumbled across your blog. I look forward to visiting again soon!

Anna said...

oh, I know angst so well... :)))

I too know that feeling of restlessness, and then, whoosh... there's the next story...

I also couldn't get into using google docs. however I love Microsoft word!

love that title! can't wait to hear more about it...

Sarah said...

Good question! What's my genre.... hmmm. I'm still finding myself and my center as a writer, so I'm exploring many genres at the moment.

My first novel is part science fiction and part literary fiction.... a near future pandemic brings together unlikely characters to a rural farmstead where they struggle to survive and retain their civility

I'll post sidebar summaries of my WIPs soon!


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