Ongoing Plague

I feel like a jerk. I didn't want to be the "silly" mom hauling her kid to the doctor a hundred times for the same cold, so even though Maya was "off" all week, I put it down to recovery.... In keeping with my plan to give Delores the cold shoulder.

Maya didn't complain a bit, in spite of an ongoing runny nose and low energy levels. She threw a few out of character tantrums and didn't eat much. Those were my only clues that something was wrong.

Then yesterday afternoon, she suddenly began crying inconsolably, complaining of a sore ear.

Poor kid. An hour later she walked out of urgent care with a vat of bubble gum flavored antibiotics and a new diagnosis: an ear infection and strep throat.

Next time, I'll err on the side of being the silly mom!

To cheer myself up, I dug up this old picture of Elliot to pair with the new one:

Photo Friday

The snow yesterday gave the neighbor's new dog an opportunity to show off his sledding skills! Maya's on the sled, and Elliot watched and eagerly awaited the hot both she was promised.

Attached, but Separating!

Delores has faded... enough at least to let us all attended class yesterday without feeling like bad people for exposing the rest of the kids.

Ha! As it turns out, everyone has been battling this little epidemic.

Elliot's Early Childhood & Family Education class is fantastic. Now in week 4, she still cries angrily when I leave her for the separation time, but according to the teacher she calms down quickly and really enjoys the other kids.

Her teacher attributed some of her comfort to the "transition item" that she's now attached to... I guess when I'm not there her lamby is the next best thing! Thanks Mimi!

Enough rambling. Here's a little anecdote about the sisters, and how grown up they are getting:

For five months, Elliot has waited with me outside Maya's classroom, quietly fascinated by the other little ones waiting to pick up their big brothers or sisters. For five months she has silently, somberly watched Miss Stephanie and Miss Leesa guide 20 exhausted preschoolers back from recess to their classroom for the end-of-day song.

Yesterday, after two hours of rowdy play in her own class, Elliot sat in my lap, munching on cheerios and waiting for Maya's class to finish their play time.

But yesterday, when she spotted Maya's pink snowsuit, Elliot leaped to her feet with the enthusiasm of Nancy Pelosi during President Obama's address last night. Performing her signature tap dance (Elliot's not Nancy's), she screamed "Maya, Maya, Maya" at the top of her tiny voice. Her hands waved, her little bum wiggled, and her new shoes stomped their excitement.

Maya turned, grinned, and reached across the heard of cats that were her fellow students to grasp Elliot's outstretched hand for a second. Then she looked over at her best friend (for the last two weeks) and said with pride, "That's my little sister."

"She's cute!" her three-year-old friend said. "Can she walk?" (She asked this while Elliot was still doing her Ginger Rogers imitation!)

"Oh yes," Maya said importantly, "She's a Toddler."

So there they were, my two little girls, with relationships all their own: Elliot and Maya, Maya and her friend. It was a fleeting glimpse of the independent people they'll become. Too sweet!

Memoir Writing Exercise

This weekend, I attended the Loft Literary Center's brief course on the Five Parts of Story.

It was a useful refresher for basic story structure, and a nice way for a newbie like me to start meeting other aspiring writers.

Teaching artist and education director Brian Malloy gave us a brief, 4-paragraph writing exercise that I'll definitely use again. It offers practice in moving through cycles of scene-summary-scene, and would be a good exercise to get the creative juices flowing before starting in on a bigger project.

Here it is:

• Paragraph 1: Write about a childhood memory as a vivid scene. Really emphasize sensory details.
• Paragraph 2: Begin with the words, "For the next ten years...."
• Paragraph 3: Begin with a line of dialogue (to move back into an active scene)
• Paragraph 4: Begin with the words, "After that" or "In the following weeks"

Cold Shoulder

Oh, Delores didn't take the hint. She remains an unwelcome presence in our home.

We've tried everything to get rid of her, yet she persists, exhausting and annoying as ever. As we begin week three of this ordeal, we're trying to give her the cold shoulder.

Maybe if we ignore her she'll just go away.

So between naps and lethargic book reading sessions, we're trying to get back into a more normal routine.

Now I ask you, why are there 8,000 versions of viagra, but no effective cure for a 3 year old's bronchitis?

Photo Friday

Both girls woke up pretty perky!
Though Maya ran out of steam quickly.

Still, Delores seems to be on her way out!

Delores

This upper respiratory virus continues to plague our house. Given its tendency to make us all wheeze and cough like seasoned smokers, we've dubbed her Delores.

It started as a bad joke simply to pass the time while I laughed, then wheezed, then coughed before starting a sentence. After a week and a half, it has stuck. Delores she is.


Delores is feisty, and is giving up ground with great reluctance.

She has sapped Maya's energy, and prevented me from sleeping for too many nights. At our brief visit yesterday, the doctor assured me that she's just viral, and suggested pediatric Claratin to quiet Delores long enough for the rest of us to sleep. So far, so good.

Clearly, Elliot remains bright and chipper as ever. She's been clattering around the house in her Elmo slippers, treating Elmo to many snacks, and speaking whole sentences. Thankfully, I can now translate every fifth word or so. " Water" or "lunch" or "broke".... she has more words every day.

Hopefully "Delores" won't make it into her repetoire. Hopefully Delores is almost finished with our house!

Cough Suppressant

Thankfully, the girls are perfectly distractable, despite feeling less than fantastic.


Whose idea was it to pull all of the children's cough syrup off the market, anyway? The reality of our family-wide cold epidemic means that I can't take NyQuil because most likely someone will need me in the wee hours, and there is nothing I can give them.

So we cough. We wake ourselves up. We wake each other up.... ugh.

As for home remedies, Maya thought she'd hit the lottery when I offered her that first teaspoon of honey.

Now, just a few days later, she runs from me. Truly, honey is gross by the spoonful... and it doesn't even work that well.

According to this Mother Nature article, even the Vics we've been using isn't proven to help at all. So all we have left are the basics, plenty of fluids and chicken soup.

At least in just two days, Maya will hit the 10 day mark and I can justify a trip to the doctor! And surprisingly, in spite of the hacking, everyone seems to be in a cheery mood!

Quiet Days

Four bad colds have descended on the inhabitants of our house. Four hacking coughs, four sore throats, four sets of achey muscles.... Blah.



This has made for some quiet days. Rambunctious, stir crazy play lasts for all of ten minutes. It might be a ten minute dance party or ten minutes hiding from the Daddy Tickle Monster.

Last night it was ten minutes of an original one girl Broadway show featuring the never ending, made-up song, "I love," in which each line began with "I love" and ended with a long string of disconnected and exceedingly cute observations. Too bad her parents were too tired to write any of them down!

After 10 minutes of fun, though, everyone crashes. One minute Elliot is dressing her dolls and putting them in their doll bed, and the next, Maya has taken over the doll bed, insisting that she needs to take a pretend nap.

Countless movies, jars of Vics Vapor Rub, and teaspoons of honey have me wondering....

Why hasn't someone invented some sort of preschool body spray. As the kids enter their classroom, they're all doused in some sort of kid-friendly, carcinogen free, cold-killing goo (not purel, new research suggests that actually helps spread the common cold), and then again as they leave.

That way, maybe the families of preschoolers would be spared the 3,000 colds each season.

Lost, But Recovered

So I was lost in that funny place all week.

I couldn't look at my manuscript. I didn't want to revisit that chapter that I had painstakingly rewritten, and I didn't want to start the next one.

Let's face it, I had writer's block. Thankfully, a little time to myself this weekend helped me center myself over the story once again. I should have better luck forging ahead in what little time I have this coming week, now that my brain is back into it.

Also, I'm going to keep a notebook on me at all times, so wisps of ideas about how the next bit should go, don't vanish amid the mind-numbing task of cooking up some chicken noodle soup for the sick (hacking cough) little people. Sometimes digging out a notebook amid the piles on my counter tops is too much trouble, so I'll make sure I have pockets this week.

Two extra things, for posterity. My favorite website this week is the Phrontistery, a home for lost and obsolete words. A writer's dream, and great for prompts when you want one.

My favorite word this weekend was Growlery. It's on the Phrontistery favorite word list. Essentially, it means "a retreat for times of ill humour." Sort of like a "Happy Place" (think Happy Gilmore) but more for being crabby.

I need a Growlery... not often, but occasionally it would be really nice. A safe place for crabby.

Photo Friday

Maya diligently writing her name and putting stickers on her own Valentine's for school friends.

Maya helped set up the camera to get a sneak peek at the love bugs. We then had to exchange a series of letters with them about why we can't see them except on camera. We learned that apples are their favorite food, so Maya shares slices with them at snack time, with the hope that they'll bring her another candy treat.

Our First Program

Maya's preschool class hosted a Valentine's program today, and her performance was a bit surprising.


She's been treating us to previews for weeks now, singing bits of "Skinamarink-e-dink-e-dink" and "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear," and something about a puppy named Rags. She promised a good show followed by cookies and juice.

We were astounded when the music started playing and that line of 20 three-year-olds started shouting and wiggling. Maya was one of only 3 kids paralyzed by stage fright!

That's right, little miss talkative was completely overwhelmed by the audience. She said later that she didn't know all of the names of the parents and brothers and sisters... that's understandably scary I suppose.

Even though she stood there with her characteristic look of sheepishness (all of you who saw her hesitation on Christmas Eve have seen that look!), the performance was adorable.

Especially at the beginning of each song, when Maya would temporarily get swept away by her enthusiasm for the song. She would do about two or three little wiggles and then freeze, look up at us, and duck her head again.

We spent the next hour in the gym, visiting with her teachers and other parents while the kids did their usual recess thing.... It was hilarious.

Maya runs with three other little girls (pictured below), usually holding hands, while one or two boys run after them, roaring like monsters. If the girls get caught, they turn and chase the boys. Too funny!


Even Elliot got in on the fun!

Attached!

Our Tuesday ECFE class has demonstrated that Elliot is definitely attached. The class is designed to teach her, and her 1 to 3 year old friends, how to function away from their at-home parents.


Once again, she made her, um, displeasure clear when I left her with a gym full of toys, toddlers, and teachers for the hour of separation.

When I returned, she cried fiercely, and while teacher assured me that she wasn't hysterical the whole time, she did suggest I bring a "transition object."

Basically, I need to find this child a lovey. I've tried to get her attached to her lamby or her doll, using the recommended strategies of sticking the intended lovey in my shirt for a while so it picks up my scent (good grief), and bringing the lovey along whenever we snuggle.

Invariably it didn't work. She could care less about either lovey.

And now we need a "transition object" by next Tuesday.... sheesh.... I should have found a class time for Maya to come along. She's attached to Maya.

I love the philosophy of attachment parenting. It emphasizes nursing, baby wearing, co-sleeping, and any other parenting tricks that feel most gentle and compassionate for baby.

High levels of attachment and constant snuggling have been proven to increase cognitive abilities for children even as they become adults. So overall, it is not only instinctive but smart.


Unfortunately, at some point, even toddlers must venture away from mama.... for mama's sanity if for no other reason.

So we're over here trying to find a "transition object" (though I now refuse to stick lamby under my sweater), so I don't get sent to the principals office on Tuesday, and so Joe and I can sneak off to Vegas in a few weeks. Wish us luck!

The pictures were taken before the girls and I ventured to the JC Penny's portrait studio. The official pictures are much better, but I don't have access to them yet!

Unlikely Houseguests

Last week, our Love Mobile attracted the attention of passersby, who then decided to take up residence at our house for a bit.

Their names are Itsy and Pink, and they are Love Bugs. A few times a day, they leave love notes for the girls, pointing out all the things Itsy and Pink love about them. Along with the sweet nothings, our little Love Bugs leave sweets: a candy heart for each girl.


At first Maya was a skeptic, even at three years old. "Who are these from? Is Grandma sending these?" But after a few letters, Maya started looking around the house for Itsy and Pink. She stumbled across two cotton balls with a note next to them, apparently the place Itsy and Pink had been sleeping.

So with some prompting but hardly any design help from mom, she decorated a shoe box as a little bedroom for the Love Bugs. She left them a note, saying she loved having company and would love more candy if they had more.


So each day, we're trading notes and getting sweets. It's the start of a whimsical Valentine's tradition, inspired by our latest Family Fun Magazine. In part, it's a great way to liven up the winter hibernation. In part, it's another simple and silly way to celebrate love during a Hallmark holiday that's gotten carried away (the diamond ring adverts right now crack me up.... don't they know we're in a recession?).

But I'm mostly enjoying it because it is inspiring Maya to be more imaginative... and to share candy hearts with her sister.

Adventure Day at the Zoo

We are truly Minnesotans. Now that the weather is a balmy 35-ish, we feel liberated, adventurous, and ready to tackle the outdoors once again.

We ventured to the Minnesota Zoo's new Russian Bear exhibit, and had a splendid time. Between the playful otters, the show-off bears, and lazy wild boars, there was much to see. The new exhibit has so many viewing areas, that in spite of their sprawling habitat, the animals are nearly always visible.

Maya watched the bear in the tree for a long time!

This bear was rooting around in their den, which also features a viewing window.

Throughout this adventure, we noticed that Maya was thoroughly in her element. Even when her lips turned blue and her shoulders trembled from the cold (35 isn't actually all that balmy), she didn't want to leave the bears for the inside exhibits.

But my Oklahoma relatives will be happy to know that Elliot is staying true to her warmer roots. About 10 minutes into the bear exhibit, while the rest of us watched with fascination as the bears mauled a tree, Elliot started voicing her protest.

Unless held tight to daddy and wrapped in a blanket, she was thoroughly upset. Good thing we brought the giant stroller!

Can you tell daddy REALLY liked the bears?

Even when we headed inside to visit the sharks and dolphins, Elliot shivered and complained. To be clear, I dressed her in layers of polar fleece in addition to her lovely leopard print jacket. Still, she spent most of her zoo time huddling around the hand dryer. All of the hands on exhibits encourage hand washing after messing with the sea creatures, so there were hand dryer's blowing warm air all over the place. Elliot ran from one to another, barely noticing the fascinating sea creatures all around her.

So if we've learned nothing else this winter, we've learned that Elliot much prefers long hot baths inside to long cold walks outside. Go figure... She must be grandma's girl!

Maya really enjoyed all the different aquatic life.... we'll have to go back soon!

A Funny Place

Not funny-ha, ha.... no, more like funny-oh, no.

I don't know why I thought I could pound out a chapter a day in the rewrite. I guess Nano was a rough introduction to the process... not at all how my brain works when the word count is essentially meaningless.

No number of words can make me feel resolved if the scene is still hanging out their, fractured and waiting for the right fix.

So I'm at a funny place. From here, I can see most of the story unfold, with its plot frailties fixed, or at least improved upon from that sad little draft 1.... But I can also see that it will take more time than I thought.

My writing life is so easily over run with teething troubles and trips to the doctor and no sleep or a hopeful attempt at the occasional social venture out of my house. I really don't have enough time to ensure completion before April 1, when this fool turns 30....

Although that deadline isn't all that meaningful anymore. I've made the steps I intended to make, writing daily, and striving to learn how to really tell a story.

Yet it's so tempting to quit. Not writing altogether, but this story. Too much to fix... not as exciting as it once was. No one will read it anyway. Who cares....

But no, NO, no.... I'll keep going. The newly beefed up characters keep whispering things to me... like how to begin their next chapter, and how much they secretly like one particular character I want them to loathe. That fact, in and of itself, is curious enough to keep me going.

So off I go, to chapter two... Still forging ahead, with whatever little time I can squeak out.

Photo Friday

Joe managed to coax the chickens outside, so they too are enjoying our warm up. They refuse to walk on the snow, so he had to shovel a path and lay down straw for them... Sheesh.... What pampered chickens.


It's amazing how warm 40 degrees feels after a week of -5! Even Elliot enjoyed the fresh air, though she still can't walk very well in her big boots.


Even on Photo Friday, I can't stick to a wordless post! :)

Word by Word

So, note by note, I revised my outline (the Pollocked finally is pictured above.... or the portion of it I could get in one shot anyway).

Now word by word, I'm starting the rewrite. I'm meeting my goal of 1,000 words a day, at least for the past two. It's much more time consuming than Nano was.... I care more.... My inner editor is fierce. But clever too, and so far, I really like how it is progressing.

Better spend my writing time where it counts.... Off to finish chapter 1!

The LOVE Mobile

Today I could tell you so many stories.

The one about Elliot's check up yesterday, when Maya valiantly defended her sister from the torture of vaccinations. A battle she ultimately lost.

The one about Elliot's long night, up hourly, feverish and so disappointed that her sister hadn't prevailed. Dang shots.

The one about preschool drop off this morning, while still feverish Elliot clung to her doll and moaned in forlorn agony whenever I had to put her down. And silly mom forgot the snow boots and had no milk, so Elliot (with the attached doll) was drug to school, home for the boots, back to school, to the grocery store, and now, finally she sleeps.

But those stories all have a bit of crabbiness to them, and I had my crabby post up all day yesterday.

Instead, I'll tell you about our Love Mobile. Keeping up a tradition we began last year, Maya's Love Mobile once again graces the entrance to our house like Valentine's Day mistletoe.

Each heart represents something she loves, and we are still adding to it all of the time. In addition to the people in her life, things like "Ice Cream with Sprinkles," "Obama," and "Visiting the Animals at the Zoo," have all made the list.

It was a fun project, and a good way to talk about Valentine's Day beyond the Hallmark kitsch.

And it was the very opposite of crabby!

Even at home?

Seriously, even in the world of Stay at Home Parents, men have a higher value.

No, no, I realize we live at the dawn of a new age where discrimination is on its way out (yeah right), and the Obama administration's first legislation promoted equal pay.

At this week's Early Childhood & Family Education class, there was one dad.

The whole crowd of moms, when asked to introduce themselves all had the same instinct: justification. Each mom in turn, introduced herself, her child, and then, her lifestyle.

If she had employment, usually part-time or her own small business, it was trumped up with enthusiasm. If she wasn't employed, the most recent job was tossed out along with hopes for future employment. By the end, I think we could have written each other's resumes.... and we were definitely keeping a few others in mind as networking opportunities. At least I was.

The lone dad introduced himself as a stay at home dad. He offered no background regarding education, former or future employment, or other popular markers of self-worth.

He said the words "Stay at Home" with pride and confidence. Dare I say, a little self-satisfaction? And his announcement was met with intonations of approval, even delight from some of the others at the table. OOOooh. What a dedicated father, seemed to be the agreed upon sentiment.

I realize this seems like a small sample size, but it is only one anecdote from my 1.5 years of Stay at Home Motherhood. It's the same everywhere. At the grocery store, I get annoyed looks from others if my child is screaming or trying to open a package prematurely, while the dad next to me, having the same issues, gets complements from the same customer.

It happens on the playground, at preschool drop off and pick up time. Stay at home mothers are supposedly dummies that couldn't hack it in the real world, or are lacking in appropriate ambition, while stay at home dad's are heroes, dedicated parents sacrificing some of their time to fully parent their children.

Sound like a double standard to you?

Some of this judgment, I realize, is my own. Just read Mommy Wars and you'll know what I mean.

But much of it is real, and it's just not fair...

On to the First Chapter

I haven't fully translated my novel's map from it's scrawling roll of easel paper to a more manageable, snowflake method style (step 8) outline.

But I am absolutely ready to get this rewrite started. I can see the novel unfolding before me. I know all of the major twists and turns and flashbacks as if I've already read it. I like them all much better than I did three months ago. I'm keeping a much bigger proportion of my first draft than I expected after my read through, though some of it has to switch point of view characters.

And thankfully, enough of the nuance, emotion, and motivation in each scene remain unplanned, leaving me room for exploration and spontaneity, which will make this rewrite seem like more of an adventure and less of a term paper than it otherwise might.

I can't wait. Chapter 1 starts tonight, and the characters, for the first time, won't stop telling me how it needs to go. I must finally know them well enough to allow that to happen!

Yea for the process!

Queen of the Mess... and the Princess of Tidy

I have a confession to make: much of my Queen of the Mess status is actually earned through clumsiness, rather than cleverness as I led you to believe last week.

Though I do have a reputation for thinking up wildly fun and messy activities for the little crazies, including a recent Finger Paint Footprint Dance Party (don't tell dad!), most of the real messes are accidents. And tonight, I got a serious, and quite deserved, scolding from Princess Tidy.

Before settling in to read Maya her bedtime books, I ushered her to the W.C. for the nightly rituals. While she brushed her teeth, I reached for a jar of moisturizer (I'm nearing 30, ya know). As poor Maya innocently brushed her teeth with her Disney princess toothbrush covered in Disney princess toothpaste (they make a killing, don't they), my hands slipped on the jar.

It went flying. End over end over end. It landed right side up at the foot of her little step stool. That might seem lucky. In fact, it would have been, if the contents of the jar hadn't splattered all over the bathroom, covering Maya's Disney princess jammies (honestly, if I never saw another princess again....), hair, and even her eyelashes in little white droplets of overpriced night cream.

Maya froze, except for a slight movement of her mouth, which formed a perfect pout around her toothbrush. She eyed me oh so seriously. After removing her toothbrush she said, sigh, "Mama," sigh, "what AM I going to do with you?"

I started giggling, even as I mopped up the mess. Maya just kept right on going. "Mama," sigh, "I TOLD you to be careful with that. It's really nice stuff."

I was openly laughing at her, the mess, everything, but still, she went on. "Mama," sigh, "If you do this again, I'm really going to have to tell daddy."

At this point I was hysterical. I had moved on to my second hand towel, cleaning goo off the floor and counters, all the while saying "I'm sorry," and "Yes, I'll be more careful next time," between fits of laughter.

As I rummaged through the still unfolded laundry for a new set of jammies (non-Disney, thankfully), I couldn't help but feel a little relief. Maya's nothing but mimicry, at age three and a half. And apparently, as an angry mom, I tend to sigh a lot, and speak with an eery calm. Exactly what I was going for... Excellent!

An Ending... and A Plot!

Some how, I wrote nonstop for three weeks on a storyline that meandered about without focus. Don't get me wrong. There were some bits I liked, and a few characters the really spoke to me. But no plot.

Since then, I've been trying to rearrange the scenes, reimagine some of the characters, and recapture my initial vision so that the rewrite might have the structure and momentum necessary to qualify as an actual novel... As opposed to a collection of words.

After gathering my notes and staring at them repeatedly for several days, I think I've got it.

By jove I think I've got it!

It was the craziest moment of realization. Part of me was shocked I hadn't seen it before, and the other part wondered where the inspiration had come from. I think the answer to that is relatively simple.

I tweaked the characters all to just the right point of tension, combining some characters, axing others, and transforming the personalities of one or two so that their behavior made more sense. Out of that tension, a cohesive plot was possible in a way that it hadn't been before.

Tonight, I clean up my outline.... tomorrow I begin the rewrite. Only 2 days behind schedule!