The Rhythm of Life

I intended to slim down my blog posts over the summer, as nap time becomes a gardening tool as essential as a good trowel or the hose (ha ha ha, I hear echoes of those well-meaning mothers reflecting on the fireman's long hose).

I didn't expect to post infrequently simply because nap time vanished.

The rhythm of our lives is a about as dependable as the prairie winds. For months we've enjoyed the gentle breeze of predictable nap times, first Elliot at 9am, then both girls at 12:30 or 1, and finally, bedtime at 8pm.

Occasional, disruptive gusts caused by a short-lived cold or a really exciting morning, may keep one of the girls from sleeping. This simply leads to a predictably crabby afternoon, at which point I channel my mother's frequent (and probably correct) observation of my siblings when they were young and cranky, saying "she's just tired" every few moments. An early bedtime generally gets us back on track.

Elliot caught some sort of nasty virus last week that threw our rhythm into a wonky carnival cadence... or, I suppose, a swirly summer storm wind (assuming I'm trying to stick to a metaphor, but that's in poor taste given that tornado season is upon us).

For more than a week, nap time is any time. Even as the girls seem to be getting healthier, I can no longer predict that two hours after breakfast Elliot will want her morning nap. Some days she is out in 30 minutes; others she waits until lunch! Maya has simply boycotted naps for a few days.

Oh, I realize this sounds like the rambling complaints of a woman who essentially has played in the dirt for the past week rather than dragging herself to a stuffy office place. But I NEED nap time.

No morning nap, means no time to catch up with friends or family while Maya artfully decorates the (useless) phone book with stickers and markers.

No afternoon nap means no time to wrap up a few inside chores, read something for myself, or update this little project. More importantly, no afternoon nap means that instead of 2 hours of quiet to do whatever I like, I end up with an afternoon running up and down stairs toting a 20 lb wiggler and steering a crabby kid back to her room "just until the big hand is on the 6.... then nap time can be all done."

Even this would be tolerable if the disruption this week hadn't escalated to hurricane force. Now they're protesting evening sleep.

That's not fair. Maya is doing great at bedtime. She snuggles in with all of her books (no stuffed animals for this one, she wants her collection of Beatrix Potter and The Very Hungry Caterpillar next to her on the pillow!) and falls asleep after a few hundred cries of "Mama, mama!" and (when we answer) "what's she saying on this page?"

No, Elliot has reached the age of real sleep trouble. Until now, she fell asleep as soon as she nursed in the evening. Sure she would wake up to eat or snuggle during the night, but since she just joined us, it wasn't a problem. Everyone kept sleeping.

Now she's too excitable. She knows she'll miss out on something. She keeps her eyes open as long as she can stand it! If she wakes up in the middle of the night, she tries to pretend she's not tired. She pulls herself up on her crib or my hips (I really have to slim down, if only to give her one less thing to pull up on!), and coos and giggles. I'm not sure if she's trying to convince herself or me that it's time to get up, but regardless, I have to wake up enough to calm her back down and shush her to sleep.

This means no quiet time in the evenings either. We spend way too long trying to put this baby down!

The unfortunate reality is that before I can recapture the gentle consistent sleep rhythms of this house, I have to teach my baby how to fall asleep on her own. This time around, I am under no illusions. Because I seriously reject the idea of letting her "cry it out," I'll spend the next few months establishing a consistent bed-time routine, letting her play in her crib by herself now and then, and putting her down just before she falls asleep... then picking her back up when she freaks out... then putting her back down when she's calm, but not asleep... over... and over...

First I have to find her a spot. She's too disruptive in the same room as Maya. We can't put Maya all the way downstairs by herself, not yet. The playroom is way too stimulating. I suppose her bed will end up next to ours. Let's hope that works.

And let's hope it doesn't take months... I'll check out The No Cry Sleep Solution again and The Baby Whisperer and see if I can get some quiet time back.

If you don't hear from me all that often, this is why! I will be posting pictures of the new garden fence tomorrow, and we expect to build a chicken coop next week! Wish us luck!

Best Adventure Day Ever

Perhaps Maya could sense my high hopes for "Adventure Day." Maybe it felt too contrived, too "mommy driven" for her taste. Or maybe she was just being contrary. Whatever the case, Maya refused to participate in Adventure Day last week. Each time I brought it up, she said she just wanted to play in the backyard.

Fine. For an almost-three-year-old, the backyard is it's own adventure.

Last night, though, without my prompting, Maya suggested that today should be the next Adventure Day.

With a puppy-pack full of snacks and books, we headed out bright and early.

Check out her new hair cut!

We drove a mile North (I think) to Long Lake Park in New Brighton. Formerly a strawberry and rhubarb farm, the park features miles of trails (paved, unfortunately), two playgrounds, and a beach that will be wonderful this summer.

This adventure day wasn't nearly as woodsy as the last one. It qualified as an adventure only because we hadn't really explored this park before. Maya preferred to stay in our new double stroller for most of the walk, a train cutting through the park was one of the biggest highlights, and a boisterous "senior skip day" kept us away from the beach front.


Plus we spent a lot of time with a local moms group that happened to be playing on the playground.


Rugged or not, this adventure couldn't get any better: a beautiful, still, sunny spring morning, outside with my girls, and adult conversation with several women who were swapping funny stories about their preschoolers and their latest solution to the unending work-life balancing act.

Besides, we did explore a few rugged trails branching off from the main path. Maya found a birds nest and would have kept going, if I hadn't caught a whiff of something that suggested the senior skip day kids might be nearby.

After playing for more than 2 hours, I actually broke one of my own rules and swung through the McDonalds drive through for some McNuggets. (I tried not to think about my McSqueemishness over the poor chickens). We picnicked in the backyard, serenaded by our very own crabby cardinal.


The highlight of my day was when Maya paraphrased her Grandpa's favorite saying: "This is the best Adventure Day EVER!"

Once again, Elliot slept through almost all of it. The poor kid is teething again!

5 Small Ways Last Week Would Have Been Different Without Kids

We would have finished the garden fence in one long day instead of one long week! (Poor Joe is still working on it, after work and between Daddy duties).


The most frequently used entertainment item would not have been a pink soccer ball.


The whole garden would be planted in the freshly tilled soil, not just one lonely row of potatoes.


The weekly culinary achievement would have been a newly attempted Giada recipe featuring asparagus instead of homemade green bean puree and organic, nitrate free chili cheese dogs.


The funniest moment of my week would not have been watching Maya and her little preschool classmates tour the fire station while various moms obliviously crooned "watch that fireman take his hose out... just look how long it is... isn't that a big hose?" (ha ha ha, that still kills me and it was a whole week ago!)

Yakkety Yak

Every time we grow accustomed to spending most of our day outdoors, this too cool spring keeps driving us back inside.

We actually had to freshen up our Dance Party song list, adding "Yakkety Yak", the chipmunks version of "Witch Doctor," and European superstar Mika's "Big Girl (You are Beautiful)."

Our renewed commitment to daily dance parties helped us discover the newest family star... Elliot has moves. Reminiscent of her sister (at 9 months rather than 7 though), Elliot wiggles, hops, and flops to the beat. She even sings along!

With both girls dancing, the party is a riotous celebration of silly. Maya likes to add funny costumes, not only her tutu, but sometimes her doctor's coat or the firefighters hat. I'm awfully glad all of our windows open into the backyard... I suspect my neighbors would risk the cool air and the drizzle to post a video of our latest dance move - dubbed the backward firefighter - on YOUTube.

So until global warming kicks in and brings us up to a humid 90 degrees for the next 5 months, we dance.

Growing an Adventurer

The girls and I have committed to having an "Adventure Day" each week all summer (not exactly an exciting title, I realize). The plan is to explore the many metro area parks, teach Maya the rules of playing in nature (primarily, don't run away from me, explore but don't eat anything, and the basics of Leave no Trace). Of course, we'll add in a few of the more spectacular playgrounds and water parks in the region, too.

The point, really, is to explore new places. I'm a creature of habit, and I really don't want to get stuck in a rut when there is so much good stuff to do!

SO on the agenda last Friday was the Ramsey County Nature Center at Tamarack.

Maya started the day with a nature collage, using pictures of things we might see on our hike. I originally hoped she would glue them in her notebook, which we could then use as a nature guide to record what we saw.

As it turns out, she wasn't interested in that, but she was incredibly enthusiastic as she glued all of the pictures on top of each other! Plus, it bought me some time to pack the diaper bag, stroller, sling, snacks, binoculars, sunscreen, and infinite other accessories critical for adventure with young kids. We're not exactly spontaneous over here!

Maya loved the frog made from recycled materials (otherwise known as garbage) that adorned the park entrance, but she was less impressed by the collection of taxidermied beavers and birds in the nature center.


When we started out on the trail, Maya kept asking when we would get to the slides. Uh oh. Then she sat down and demanded a snack.

As she snacked, I wheeled Elliot around nearby and found all sorts of interesting things that lured Maya into exploring. We counted the rings on the tree stump, we found a hollowed out tree that looked cool, and we watched a million birds flitting around. She never really finished her snack. She snarfed down an orange, grazed on some pretzels, and and polished it off with Elliot's cheerios (yes, she's big enough to eat cheerios!). We were at the park for almost two hours, and she snacked the WHOLE time. Just wandered and snacked.

On the whole, it was a great first Adventure Day. We found a new park with lots of wild space and few paved trails. We spent the morning somewhere new, but with no agenda, no time outs, and no distractions. By the end of the morning, Maya was looking for interesting things to point out to me (like a pile of sticks that she called a birds nest with cracked eggs.... awh, poor mama duck).

And Elliot slept the whole time!

Ironmom: Grocery Shopping with Kids:

It’s an event that requires intense concentration, upper body strength, acute understanding of geometry and algebra, and the patience of Thick Nhat Hanh.

Seriously, I’m not sure that anyone can appreciate the challenge of grocery shopping with really young children in tow, except those of us who attempt it regularly.

Let me take you along on our average trip (I intended to add pictures, but the camera never made it out of the car).

Assuming that, as usual, I cave to the convenience of the nearest big box super-giant. I park my sporty little car (oh wait, it’s a neo-station wagon) next to the first cart return sheltering a jumbo cart.

As I unhook Elliot from the little Houdini trap that is her safety seat, Maya peers out her window, evaluating my choice, “no, NO mom, I want that one over THE-RE.”

With Elliot perched on one hip and Maya’s wrist tightly in hand, We cross over two aisles to claim the giant plastic cart styled as a spaceship, eschewing the cart disguised as a little car. I never used these massive carts until Elliot was born; now, they're the only way I can keep them both seated safely.

Elliot is new to the experience of sitting up, holding on to a tiny steering wheel, and leering at all of the sights and sounds. Maya, the more experienced shopper, squeaks the plastic horn as she asks, “what’s that guy doing?... what’s that lady doing?” any time we pass a fellow shopper.

Yes, I have told her it is impolite to comment on people as you pass . That just makes her louder. She assumes you didn’t really hear her question, so she repeats it, adding adjectives, like “hairy” or “blue.” To prevent a punch in the face, I keep my head close to hers and answer quickly and quietly every single time, "shopping, just like you.” I probably say it a thousand times each trip.

Thus, hunched over (slightly, luckily I’m short), I attempt to steer this beast of a cart around the rather aging clientèle that also shops at 10:00 A.M. on Mondays. I keep up an endless dialogue with Maya (punctuated periodically by “what’s that kid doing?”) about the color of the produce, the scent of the oranges, the picture on the milk carton. I say little in the meat section (the duck situation already has her squeamish about eggs).

As the trip progress (we’re about 20 minutes in), the natives get a bit restless. Elliot wants to be free to crawl; Maya wants to open the “treat” she picked out (Heritage Grains cereal… I don’t go down the candy aisle). So I start mentally evaluating the remainder of my list.

Can I make that soup without the white beans? If I pick up extra diced tomatoes in this aisle can I just make pasta twice instead of picking out all of the specialty ingredients for the recipe I have? I’m sure I can get buy without laundry soap for one more week.

I usually end up with about half of what I intended to buy, and random extras (substitutes) we saw along the way, in order to finish faster and secure some peace while I check out. I’m just lucky produce and organics are the first two sections!

Check out is a sprint to the finish: unload the cart, unhook Elli so she can bounce on my hip, keep Maya focused on the good stuff we bought, so she doesn’t notice (and comment on) the little person behind us in line…

By the time we get home, both of them need me. Elliot needs a snack; Maya needs help on the potty. The groceries just have to wait their turn, which has been fine so far, but August heat may force me to pay attention to where the cold stuff ended up.

We try to alternate big box trips with co-op trips, which is an entirely different experience: narrow aisles, carts just big enough for Elliot requiring Maya to walk, safer food choices and a lovely atmosphere, but staff that are annoyed that my chaotic offspring are spoiling their jazzy background music.

This is an activity for the strong, the brave, and the defiant… I realize I could go alone when Joe gets home, but the last place I want to spend my free time is the grocery store! So I strength train, I psych up, and I go as infrequently as possible.

It's a Hard Knock Life for Ducks

My enthusiasm for providing Maya with a touch of wildlife in her own backyard has waned.

Instead of a beautiful spring experience, protecting a brooding duck and seeing newly hatched chicks, I had to explain the trail of broken eggs leading to poof of mama duck feathers and a crack in our gate. Luckily Maya is little enough to believe my story about the baby ducks going to live at the pond. This was, certainly, not my most forthright parenting moment, but I didn't have the heart to tell her about the neighborhood raccoon or fox or whatever it was that wanted scrambled eggs for Sunday brunch.

At least we've learned a valuable lesson for our prospective chickens: coop them up at night!

It broke my heart each time Maya went outside today. She walked straight to the nest and looked down saying, "I just wanted to see mama duck's eggs one more time. Did the chicks have to move?"

Bring on the Chicks!

Mama duck flew away for a her lunch yesterday evening, and look what we found! Not to worry, though. She was back on her nest just a bit later. As I rocked and comforted my newly-vaccinated and upset baby in the wee hours, I thought about how easy mama duck had it, cozied up with her eggs, keeping them out of the rain in the shelter of our prairie grass.

Bring on the Birds!

No, we’re not ready for our chickens just yet. As it turns out, there is no real market for backyard chickens. Home Depot and Lowes sell doghouse kits, but no chicken coop kits. Most of the online resources we have found reveal the true nature of fellow backyard chicken keepers: uber greenies. They by and large build their coops themselves with scrap materials the scavenge throughout the city.

Off we go then. Joe has been to Andover, Minnetonka, and south Minneapolis, filling up the Vibe with odds and ends ranging from plywood large enough to serve as a wall to small pieces that will probably end up in our bonfire this summer. We’ve got floor plans and power tools. We even have the neighbor girl lined up to watch the girls for a bit.

Soon our backyard will be a construction zone... and a hatchery.

It appears that our poultry farm has gotten off to a fruitful start!

For a week or so, we have watched a couple of wood ducks waddle around our yard. Yesterday we discovered their nest! I was tipped off by the mama duck’s crazy flapping and squawking each time our enormous house cat would get to close to one corner of the fence. Maya and I watched her dance around for quite a while, long enough to toss her some breadcrumbs and pull up a chair by the gazebo.

Apparently, if we’re wiling to limit disturbances around her nest, keep our cat inside, and only go near the area when she’s away feeding, in about 5 to 7 weeks the chicks will hatch and relocate to the pond!

Elliot's New Favorite Food

Mango-Banana Puree.


Elliot loved this stuff so much, evident in the way she giggled, then hollered, then tried to bounce out of the high chair after the spoon, that Maya and I had to try it. The three of us ended up having mango-banana baby food together for lunch.

We would never have done that with baby food in the jar. That's just baby food. Today's flavor of the day, started out as chunks of fresh, non-stringy mango and perfectly ripe, just-turned-yellow banana, so it seemed more like food... and more acceptable for Maya and I to steal a taste.

With all this extra time on my hands (yeah, right), I've gotten into making my own baby food. About once a week, I spend 10 extra minutes in the kitchen steaming peas or apples, baking squash or sweet potatoes, or pealing bananas and mangoes.

When everything is pureed to the right consistency, I just smoosh it into ice cube trays, and then have perfect baby portions that thaw in the microwave or (to preserve more nutrients) in a little boiling water.

This way, I can guarantee that the food was fresh and organic, plus save a little money. One mango and one banana (probably $1.10 at the store on Sunday), made about 6 jars worth of baby food (not including the two jars Maya enjoyed)!

I have a great book of recipes (mostly guidelines for preparing the fruits and veggies without cooking away the nutrients) called Mommy Made, and Daddy Too, but WholesomeBabyFood.com has a lot of good recipes and tips too.

At the moment, we're stocked with acorn squash, winter squash, peas, apples, mango-banana, and prune-banana.

This baby is in for a treat!